Title Game Exercise

Penumbra

Penumbra, the shadow between light and dark. Captain Lucas Watson laying down, floating in in the cabin of his space shuttle, aimlessly. Alone in the dark, except for the slight glow from the various instruments around the craft, and the penumbra cast by the solar eclipse. Watson was the last remaining member of his crew, who were given an exploration mission to, at the time, a  newly found planet named, Eal. Tragically, the crew and mission control were extremely wrong about their predictions of the planet. Leaving Watson drift within space in physical isolation. Broken mentally, he cut off verbal communications with Earth, leaving only messages, while the spacecraft was set to home. Days, weeks, and months alone in the deep dark wilderness of space. Lost in the thoughts of his worst fears, his nightmares, and his most joyful memories, his thoughts swirled down into chaos. The worst and best of his memories became one. What was once a duality, became one, not good nor bad, but the center of the chaos was somewhat a newfound peace for Watson, he was in the penumbra of himself. Where the worst and the best meet, not to repress or to restrain each other, but in the most bizarre unity. He found confusion from the product of his own mind, there was finally a feeling of peace for him. Though this feeling of transcendency did not last forever. Time and time again he would ride the peaks and depths of his mind. Only finding his peace temporarily, but this peace was not true peace, it came from a state of lifelessness. Was this really where he would find peace in himself, a state of monochromic thoughts, where nothing had no meaning, and emotions were of nothingness

Quit

The battle within himself waged on for days and nights, sometimes having periods of hope and happiness, of sorrow and regret, or the thin line between both, the penumbra. Eventually, the physical realm became an apparent issue. The supplies left on the spacecraft were not enough to make the trip back in the originally planned amount of time. Leaving only one option to cut back on fuel, rations, and supplies used, but that meant a longer time spent in deep space. It took time to come to terms with the extended duration of the journey back to Earth, where Watson debated to himself over and over whether or not he would be able to physically and mentally survive the entire journey back. Contemplating on whether or not to quit or continue, again having another battle inside himself. At times breaking down and other times persevering through the impossible. Thoughts again continue to swirl throughout his mind, a whirlwind of emotions, thrashing him around psychologically, challenging his consciousness to its limits. To quit or to push forward, there was no one but truly him to decide his fate, nothing but battling himself. Was he strong enough to make it back home or would be broken down by sorrow, regret, and failure? With the utmost power of his will, he tried to fight the urge to give up and quit, he sat down onto a seat, in front of a screen. It had been almost a year since there was verbal communication with mission control and Watson. He sat there, staring at the screen, seeing his face. Quickly reflecting on himself, who was he, why was he here, what was he to do?             

Godspeed

His hesitation ended, he pressed on a dimly lit green switch near the screen. The screen turned on, “connecting…” was in the middle of the screen. Watson took deep breathes, calming him, self and preparing. The screen then shifted to, “loading…”, Watson took another deep, he looked, rugged and damaged but was in perseverance. On the screen then appeared a live video of himself to mission control. The conversation with him and mission control was very short, he only gave them the most critical information needed. They knew nothing about what he had gone through weeks and months prior. Only knowing the state of his spacecraft as of now and that he was the only survivor. Watson wanted to quickly end the call after informing mission control but was interrupted when Art Peterson intruded into the mission control room. Art was an intern for Watson, whom Watson taught. Art heartfully told Watson that there were still people, his close friends, his aunt, and uncle, who were all anxiously waiting for any updates on him and for Watson to return home. 

Art spoke to the big screen, looking into the live camera, “Mr.Watson your aunt, she still hasn’t given hope on you. Every night she looks up at the sky, waiting for you. Do not lose hope. I know, I have no idea what it was been like out there, but please, know we believe in you, do not give up on yourself, even at the worst.”

Watson slightly tearing up about the news, “Thank you… Art... Tell my aunt and uncle Lucas is coming home... Godspeed…”

Art responding to an emotional Watson, “Godspeed Mr.Watson”. 

The video call ended, leaving Watson and the mission control room in silence.            

Cold Metal

Weeks past, Watson more hopeful than before still fell into his dark thoughts. He still struggled with himself, but this time he kept that hope alive in him. However, the situation inside the ship became worst. More fuel and energy was needed, leaving fewer amenities, especially the heat.

The inside of the ship was dark and cold, the touch of the cold metal inside became more and more common.  Supplies were also beginning to get very low, Watson had to strictly use supplies if only necessary to survive the rest of the journey. Watson still struggled with good and bad thoughts, having nightmares of his failures and sorrow. The cold and dark added onto his dark thoughts. He continued to fall back into the penumbra of his mind. A mindset where he felt lifeless, stuck between the light and dark seemed like an eternal well, but remembering the heartfelt words from Art about his family and friends, gave him the hope needed to pull himself out. The struggle was hard, but know he had much more to persevere for.    

Who am I?

Getting closer to home, became a double-edged blade, the closer he was to home, the less energy and supplies he had left. The closer was the easier it would to drifted off into the madness of his thoughts. In the dark cold cabin of the ship, he lay still, floating in the dark. It seemed like hope was dying from the low supplies, darkness, and cold of the ship. Despite the worst of odds, he was getting stronger, be able to push back against the worst memories, and becoming more open-minded about all of his thoughts and why they are good or bad and how they affect them. He began to think about his life. He didn’t have the best childhood, his parents passed away when he was young and was bullied in school for it. He wasn’t popular, didn’t have many friends, but did meet some very good people in his life. His love life was very bare, never really finding someone that made him feel happy. He lived most of his life lonely, even though there were close people around him. Kept to himself for the most part, and now he was in space thousands of miles from anyone. He was truly by himself, but he was himself. He is and always was Lucas Watson during the best and worst times he was himself. His epiphany about himself opened his narrow mindset. His struggles from good and bad thoughts were finally cleared from his mind. Watson felt real and genuine peace for the first time. Watson became reflective on his life, accepting the good and bad thoughts for what they stand for, and relieving the stress and pain of situations that were out of his control. He was finally ready to go home and “restart” his life for the better.         

Home

Home eventually came, Watson was finally relieved from the chaotic shadow that had been following him his entire life. His journey back broke him down to nothing, but he was able to rebuild himself, to be himself. Watson was ready to start his life back on Earth with a new mindset, alongside with new goals. Maybe it was time for him to find someone to share his thoughts and emotions too, to finally not be alone. Maybe it was time for him to go speak to the girl he had enjoyed being around. Maybe it was time to spend more time with his friends and family, his aunt and uncle, continue to teach Art his knowledge. For Watson, there were no more maybes, he was going to this time, no more hesitation. When the time came, he buckled down and was ready to land back on earth. It was really going to happen he was really going to be back on home, the feeling was overwhelming. He landed back on Earth and was brought straight to a medical facility, to check on him, seeing, hearing, and being around other people for the first time in a very very long time. Finally, at long last, after days of being medically cleared, whilst, leaving the facility, he was surprisingly greeted by more people he could ever imagine, but most importantly the close ones were there, Watson’s aunt and uncle, friends, and friends. Lucas Watson was ready to live again.